The police officer looked at me suspiciously through the car window as I tried my best to smile engagingly. Clearly it didn’t have the desired affect because he assumed I was drunk. I’ll add ‘engaging smile = sloshed looking’ to the list of reasons I’m possibly still single. It was, to be frank, a bugger of a speeding ticket and one I plan to fight due to the lack of clear signage & my impeccable driving record.
But none of that is relevant to this post. In fact, I haven’t posted in a while and I’m beginning to wonder if this blog lacks focus. Lacks direction. Lacks purpose. So I’m here to ask you, are blogs meant to be goal oriented?! Are they meant to have focus, direction and a purpose?!
In a desperate bid for material I threw it open to my Facebook friends. You’ll be really glad I updated you on the speeding ticket when you see what they gave me to work with. Amongst the legit gems, here are some of the more…questionable suggestions:
1. What is it like to have a less than perfect dad but you think he is perfect anyway? (Yep. Thanks dad. Good to know he follows my feed).
2. The deliciousness of KFC chicken.
3. The working title “How many buckets?”
4. What truly defines the perfect cup of tea? (Actually, scratch that. That’s a good one. I could write about that. I talk about that.)
5. Trolley rage. A sensitive topic trolley rage. Many people weighed in on this with one friend even suggesting that ‘a trot is probably the best pace’. I might need to write about people who clock other people’s trolley speed at the supermarket…and even as I’m typing I think it’s a fantastic idea and this needs to be explored further. Stat.
Supermarket Cops. They could direct traffic, fine people for not keeping to the left & trying to overtake as you turn the corner. They could ensure squeaky wheel trollies are kept out of our aisles and that shoppers don’t decide to ‘park’ in the middle of the fresh fruit section for a long & neighbourly chat. They could set up speed cameras. We will all think they are scanning groceries and then WHAM. They’ve clocked the reckless child high on coke (a-cola) who rammed you in the heels in aisle 3. It’s a ground breaking concept. Do you think it’s taking it to far to have an announcement come over the PA “Put down the quinoa. Yes, you in the yoga pants. Put it down, put your hands in the air and slowly back away.”
No? See me either. I think it would be a real public service. I want to add something about checkout personnel half your age calling you ‘darl’ but I’m unsure if instant dismissal is really ‘time that fits the crime’ so to speak….
Stay tuned, next week we just might explore the working title ‘how many buckets’ in 200 words or less. Much less. In fact I think we’ve pretty much covered it. Good talk.